


Bitter Hearts

by prettylouis



Category: The 100
Genre: Angst, F/M, Kissing, This isn’t proofread at all sorry lmao i wrote it in notes at 3 am and my dialogue is probs yikes, anyway, for not that long tho bc idk how to write kissing that doesn’t lead to sex so, s6, s6 spec, that I know will never happen but
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-03
Updated: 2019-04-03
Packaged: 2020-01-04 11:06:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18342416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prettylouis/pseuds/prettylouis
Summary: Clarke and Bellamy actually speak and don’t recycle the same three lines they have the past 130 years.





	Bitter Hearts

Echo slams the door hard when she leaves, he hears Clarke’s tiny gasp behind him. Then it’s silent. 

“I’m so sorry, Bellamy.” 

His scoff is full of bitterness, but it’s not directed at her. Just the situation in general. Just at himself. 

“It’s alright. 100 something year relationships end all the time, huh?” he laughs.

She doesn’t.

“Bellamy, if you want to go with her I understand.”

“No, you really don’t.” It’s bitter in his mouth, but it’s true. 

“Bellamy, I never made you side with me. You could’ve left with Echo, no one is holding you hostage.” Her words are angry and her throat burns as she speaks, but she says it anyway. 

He bites his tongue when his heart tells him to tell her she’s held him hostage since she gave him forgiveness many, many years ago against that tree. He listens to his head instead. 

“You called me everyday for six years, and then left me in the fighting pits to die.” 

Her eyes water instantly, she begins to stutter and suddenly it’s a 100 years ago and they’re locked in a room arguing about her leaving him after mount weather and he can’t breathe. 

“Why did you call me?” He was afraid his voice would shake when he finally got the courage to ask. it didn’t. 

She stares at him for a moment, collecting her thoughts. 

“Because I needed you. You were my best friend.”

It’s not good enough for him. It’s not. 

“Fuck that, Clarke. Raven, Monty, Harper, fuck, Murphy even, were your best friends too. But you didn’t call them, you called me everyday for six years. You knew I couldn’t hear you, but you called anyway. Why?” His words are firm and he’s not breaking eye contact and Clarke wants to scream. 

She wants to scream exactly fucking why. Because she loved him. Because she loves him. But she can’t. Because someone else is there who loves him better. Who is good for him and who he spent six years with and has held him in ways Clarke will never get to and she can’t. 

“Bellamy, I don’t know what you want me to say. We need each other, and I still needed you, even when you didn’t know I was alive.” 

She recycles words from 100 years ago, never letting her feelings show then, and apparently not now. 

He laughs, it’s bitter, and it cuts her to the core.

“Of course. Why else would you? You know what, Clarke? Maybe it’s time for me to stop needing you.” It’s mean and it feels like he’s stabbed her but it’s out there now. 

Crocodile tears pour from her eyes in streams and he can’t watch what he’s done to her anymore. So he goes to leave.

“Fuck you. Every since you came back to me you’ve done nothing to make me feel like I’m still to you what I was then. You all exclude me, and it’s fine, I get it. You were with them for 6 years. The time you all had with me is nothing compared to that. Especially when I was allowing the people you love to be killed or abandoning you. But I’ve apologized and apologized for doing the same shit you’ve all done at one point in time to. When do I get to be forgiven? If you don’t want to forgive me that’s fine, but don’t give me false hope just to throw it in my face when things don’t go your way. Murphy doesn’t have to say sorry about hanging you. Raven doesn’t have to say sorry about kidnapping my fucking kid. You don’t have to say sorry about putting the flame in Madi. Echo doesn’t have to say sorry for attempting to kill or killing almost fucking everyone you care about. Fuck, she even gets a whole relationship out of it!” She spits the words out like their the nastiest things she’s ever had to swallow. 

She didn’t mean to be so angry at him, after all, he takes up for her more than the rest. He looks at her like she’s shot him, and the familiar taste of apology is on the tip of her tongue, but he beats her to the draw. 

“I forgave her, Clarke. We became close. What was I supposed to do?” His words are calm, like he’s trying to diffuse a bomb with them. 

Clarke explodes. That whole spill of her emotions, and he wants to take up for Echo.

“Not fuck her, that’s for sure!” She screams, her jealousy becoming too much to keep within herself. 

Bellamy’s shocked expression softens her tone. 

“You were supposed to wait for me.” As soon as she says it she knows it’s the most selfish thing she’s ever wanted. 

She flops into the chair behind her, openly sobbing. 

“I know it’s not your fault. I know. I know you had no idea I was alive, no idea if you were coming home, but it’s all I thought about. Everyday, for six years, I thought about you landing and being with me. About me running to you and hugging you. About feeling what it’s like to be in your arms again. About you meeting Madi. About us finally getting to talk and telling you i was sorry it took losing you to figure out that the only person I’ve ever really wanted was you. About you loving me the same and us being together and taking care of Madi and starting a garden and kissing you and fucking you and loving you and being loved by you. But then you got here and the fantasy I had imagined to keep myself sane was ripped apart and I-“ she gasps for air, attempting to calm herself down “I know it’s not your fault. I’m sorry. I called you every day for six years because I love you, Bellamy. That’s why.” 

It’s silent and then Bellamy is crouching in front of her, cupping her face and wiping her tears. 

“I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry I made you feel excluded. But don’t think that there was ever a day in space where I didn’t think about how impossible it was that I was still in love with the girl I’d been mourning the loss of for years. Every decision I made in space was to honor you, and every decision I make on the ground is for you. You’ve hurt me, but Clarke, there is no one that compares to you in my eyes. I love you.” 

She’s not losing him again, she reaches forward, pulling him in by his curls and kissing him with everything in her. He gives it right back.

**Author's Note:**

> hello i made a stan twitter that u can follow if u want it's @radiobellarke thx. I’ll probs just rt edits and make fun of jroth lbr but if that’s the content you’re looking for I’m your girl!! hope u liked it sorry for the drama and rambling via Clarke but that’s genuinely how i am when arguing so.


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